On Saturday morning, I woke up and checked my phone like any teenager would do. When I opened Instagram, I immediately saw a post about air strikes from Hamas into Israel. Initially, I didn’t overthink it because this happens all the time. But this was different; I kept seeing more and more posts about it and soon realized Israel was at war with Hamas. That was the moment I became terrified.

Most of the world has only heard stories about the Holocaust and seen or experienced smaller antisemitic acts, but not many people have been alive to experience such horrific acts. Growing up, I heard stories upon stories about the Holocaust, thinking this would never happen again. I will never have to share anything like it, but now I fear that I will. Seventy years ago, we made the promise of “Never Again,” but this is starting to feel like the “again” without the “never.” I shouldn’t have to sit here worrying about these things while my friends and classmates continue their lives without asking if I am okay.

For the first time in my life, I am scared to be Jewish. I have always had the thought of walking into my synagogue, camp, or JCC and never walking out, but I have never been scared to be Jewish. My brother had been in my old synagogue while there was a shooter at the JCC just a mile down the road, but I wasn’t scared to be Jewish. I walked past pro-Palestine riots in 2021, and my dad told me to tuck away my Star of David, but I wasn’t scared to be Jewish. I have been told firsthand by the Chief of Staff to the Congressman of my district that it is the Job of the Jews to stop antisemitism and was treated like it is our fault that people are antisemitic while lobbying at the US Capitol in February, but I wasn’t scared to be Jewish. A classmate had told my friend that she would shoot her, and now I walk past that girl in the hall every day, but I hadn’t been scared to be Jewish.  

I have seen, heard, and experienced antisemitic acts, but I was never scared to be Jewish, not until now. I feel lonely, unsafe, hopeless, paralyzed, helpless, and lost. I feel like I need to do something, but all I can do is pray. I am scared of the unknown. Sitting in school the past few days, I have only been thinking about the what-ifs; I haven’t been focused. I am scared, and I am tired of the silence from my gentile peers.

Like many of you, I have friends and family members who are currently in Israel, whether studying or living there. I am scared that I will go to sleep and wake up the next morning to find out that they are gone. I am scared for my friends and their siblings who are in the IDF fighting for their lives, our lives, our country, and our home. From halfway around the world with a seven-hour time difference, it is challenging to stay up to date on who is bombing from what direction and where it is going, where the terrorists currently are, if my friends are safe, and if they are alive. If Hamas puts down their weapons, there will be no more fighting. If we put down our weapons, there will be no more Israel.

Growing up, I have heard countless stories about my dad’s time in Israel and how special of a place it is to him. This summer, I was blessed with the opportunity to finally travel there myself. In the short three weeks that I was there, I learned so much about myself, us Jews, and the State of Israel that I probably would never learn anywhere else. I experienced many amazing things and met incredible and inspiring people there. I found my home, our promised land. We need to protect and save our country, our roots, our promised land, and our home so that many other Jewish teens in years to come can learn that Israel is their home just as much as you and I.